Message to my Girl.
I never needed to call you, though you answered to my whistle if you heard it.
You just always seemed to appear. Your keen senses of hearing and smell brought you to me, even when I was somewhere you wouldn’t have expected me to be, or if you were where I didn’t expect to see you. Or perhaps it was our spiritual connection.
We always just found each other.
To have the friendship of a completely wild animal, tender, dignified, elegant, wise, is something few could ever know. You welcomed me into your pack, and made me a part of your family. You gave your love freely. I was your kin, your equal. You encouraged me to baby-sit the kids and in fact most of the time relied on me to watch them while you went hunting. You proudly showed me your kills, and quivered when I applauded with glee. You didn’t need my approval nor did I need yours.
Instead we delighted together in each-other’s triumphs.
At times we roamed the bush in silence, our feet sometimes using well worn trails, other times forging new ones. Walking together side by side, romping through the tall grasses of the swamps, tippy toeing across mangrove roots, lying peacefully atop a hill, communing with K’Gari… we were companions, friends, our souls were interwoven and our bond was sacred and spiritual.
We were able to communicate wordlessly – we knew each other so well that words had no meaning. You taught me to use my senses in a way few humans are able to. I perceived each nuance of your movement. I knew when you were tired, sorrowful, eager to hunt, playful, when you were duty-bound to sacrifice your welfare for your babies. When you secretly treated the weaker ones to special meals or affection, I knew your heart was more than pure. I knew genuine altruism and deep affection resided within that little frame of yours.
My heart swelled to bursting when you howled at the sunrise, howled to count your numbers, howled to the planes above, which perhaps you thought were dingo spirits. Year after year sorrowfully we howled together when the pups each died.
And when you howled you didn’t mind that I sometimes joined my voice to yours. But most times I’d sit silently in deepest respect and listen to the sweet rich melody, my spirit soaring with the notes, my entire being at peace. Your howl gave me a gift I could never repay, something I yearn for every day and feel so lonely without. The sound of your howl grounded me to the earth, made me a part of K’Gari to the point that I could hear the Island itself howling its grief-stricken cry.
You couldn’t live in my world and I couldn’t live in yours, but for a portion of each day, our worlds combined and we were one. Like the ancient Aborigines in perfect tune with nature, I tried my best to walk your world with respect, not breaking a twig, disturbing a spider’s web, not leaving a trace. But you left your mark in my world… and this is a profound miracle.
Parting was always such sweet sorrow. I said goodbye every single day with sadness in my heart, but joy in knowing I would see you again tomorrow. And you, you poor sweet thing, you sometimes had to choose between your life-mate and I, and I could clearly see the conflict in your eyes. Sometimes you ran for miles beside me, then ran back to him, then ran back to me; if all that effort didn’t cost you so much precious energy it would have been comical. You genuinely sacrificed yourself and your wellbeing for our friendship, as did I.
To rest or sleep with you nearby I knew I was safe from every danger. I slept the sleep of peace and protection while you were watching over me.
You always sensed when I was in danger and miraculously appeared. You were my protector. You were abundantly gentle of spirit and yet your devotion meant that you would fight to the death for me and give your own life for mine without hesitation. That is one of the greatest honours of my life. I have comfort now in knowing that in a way I gave my life for yours.
When I knew I had to leave the Island forever, and leave you behind, the pain of separation was almost too much to bear – I fretted about how I could communicate to you that I would not be coming back but would still be with you, in spirit.
And yet the last time I saw you, you told me that you understood. You embodied ancient wisdom, and with dignity, you gave me your blessing.
No greater love has existed for me.
The Island, the Aussie bush should never be silent or without your glorious song. The Bush without you is a desert and K’Gari without you is a wasteland…
Living life without being in your presence and hearing your howl every day has been desperately tragic for me. At least I knew you were still there, surviving, thriving as only you could, a Matriarch, a born alpha who led with nobility, who commanded respect rather than demanded it.
They took your dear precious life in the end My Girl, but they didn’t take your soul.
How can I say goodbye to you my Kirra, my mate? What can I say, except… Thank You?
The angels have waited for you for so long, and now they have their way… Your essence guides me forever, you are in Heaven with all the others we’ve loved and lost. You spirit runs free all around your territory, you will evermore be the Queen of K’Gari.
The time we shared, your friendship with me, was not just a special bond we had, but a legacy for the whole world.
Our wild spirits will reunite. I know you will find me. I will be wandering around in Heaven and suddenly you will be there by my side. And we’ll romp and play in the Garden for all of eternity, and until then my dear sweet Kirra, nothing can take your memory away from me.